Declaring My Candidacy

Okay, I’m ready to start my campaign for the vice presidency. I don’t want to be president, just the veep. I figure it would be a pretty good job, to be vice president of the United States. Pretty good pay and excellent health care benefits. You get your very own jet to fly around in. Chauffeured limo, secret service agents to keep people from kicking sand in my face, very little responsibility or real work to do and as I understand it, a hunting license to shoot people and claim it was a hunting “accident.” Yessireebob, I’m throwing my hat in the ring right now before anybody actually gets nominated to run for the presidency. I figure if I get enough of a head start on this and get a lot of support from you, I should be the logical choice of whomever gets nominated to run for president. It doesn’t really matter which party I’m the running mate on – they’re all a bunch of lying, conniving snakes in the grass anyway.

So, what platform am I running on you may ask. I plan to take the office back to its glory days and be the do nothing vice president! Nobody (especially the prez) wants his veep to do anything that might embarrass him/her, like make an intelligent decision. I should be very good at that, since I’ve made very few smart decisions in my whole life. I’ll even go so far as to promise not to try and spell “potato.” I’ll just spell it “spud.”

Now, I realize most folks with political aspirations begin their careers on a smaller scale, like running for congress. I don’t have time for that – I’m old. And besides, congresspersons have something called “constituents” that they have to pay lip service to every couple of years. I’d rather fly beneath the radar, as it were, and just be the seldom (or never) seen or heard from vice president.

So, you ask, what happens if the president croaks and you all of a sudden have to step into the job? Well, I certainly wouldn’t want that to happen, but I suppose I could muddle through somehow. We’ve had a number of presidents who’ve done just that, i.e. Millard Fillmore, Calvin Coolidge, “Ike”, Dubya, et al. I reckon I couldn’t do a much worse job as The Prez than Dubya.

So, when you go to your local party caucuses, please remember to vote for me, Xradioguyfrank for vice president of these here United States. Thank you.

First Day of a Brand New Year

First Day of a Brand New Year

I don’t know where 2007 went, but I can’t say I’m going to miss it. In 2007, my wife Alma was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Because she could no longer work and she had run up a pile of credit card debt I didn’t know about, we had to declare bankruptcy.

Alma spent the whole summer in Seattle getting treatment for her cancer at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. That meant renting an apartment at the Pete Gross House, a facility built for just this purpose – housing cancer patients. I mostly stayed home here in the Tri-Cities and worked. Half of my paycheck each payday goes to pay for health insurance for Alma since she also lost her insurance benefits when she lost her job.

The treatment for Alma’s multiple myeloma consisted of several rounds of chemo therapy, a stem cell transplant and so damned many pills I don’t know how she keeps them all straight. The result? Her cancer is in remission, but she feels terrible from all the medications.

Nope, 2007 will not go down as my favorite year. At least I didn’t get a kidney stone. But I did have to have bilateral hernia surgery (that’s both sides and three hernias). Alma and I are both going into 2008 with colds. Having a cold is very serious for Alma because her immune system is still compromised.

The old saying goes something like, “Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, they did.” I don’t pretend to know what 2008 will bring. Could it get any worse? Oh yeah! Could it get better? Sure – I’ve got both Alma and me entered in the Publisher’s Clearinghouse sweepstakes, so when we win that….

The year 2008 means it’s been 45 years since I graduated from high school and 40 years since I got drafted and decided to join the navy. It is just not possible that it has been that many years! I remember wishing the time would fly by when I was in the navy (especially in boot camp) so I could get “outta there,” but the days and weeks just seemed to drag on endlessly. Now even a mundane eight hour work day seems to only take about an hour. And, when I worked in radio, especially early in my career, a one-day weekend seemed adequate. Now it seems like I haven’t really had a weekend off at all, even after a three-day holiday weekend.

I’m hoping 2008 will be kinder to Alma and me, but I sure wouldn’t take odds on it. As the old expression goes, “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”